The Gasp Heard Round the TV Screen, or "Broken by the Oscars"

I applaud George Clooney's opening acceptance speech. Bravo for him, stating how Hollywood has always led the way with groundbreaking acheivement in the area of acceptance. Esp. the Academy, who gave out the first Oscar to an African American long before it was kosher or a media stunt. Bravo, Mr. Clooney.

And Jon Stewart, bravo for basing most of the night's comedy on irony. Stiller in the green suit, unaware of what the audience could actually see. Presenting Robert Altman's honorary Oscar with a Lily Tomlin-Meryl Streep Altman-esque introduction. Stewart wasn't afraid to let the audience know how stiff they were or make the honest observation (with great comedic timing) "Martin Scorcese: zero Oscars, 3-6-Mafia: one."

And the 3-6-Mafia win is a long way from Eminem's win for "One Shot." "It's Hard Out There For a Pimp" is def. down and dirty Southern crunk. And as a result (quoting Stewart again), "It just got a little bit easier for a pimp."

So kudos, Academy, for breaking down barrier of racism, intolerance, etc. etc. But, I'm sorry to say that you still have a long way to go.

It was just too much to ask for. To hope for. Winner of the BAFTA award, the BSFC, the BFCA, the CFCA, the Director's Guild, the Independent Cinema, the London critics', the Los Angeles critics', the San Fran critics', the New York film critics', the Satellite, the Writer's Guild, the Golden Lion and the Golden Globes. Winner of the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Score and Best Director. Highest grossing film nominated for Best Picture (by far). Only one thing missing.

So maybe Clooney's speech was a bit premature. In a ground-breaking year, the Academy couldn't avoid giving out statuettes to controversial films, so why credit them? The ticket sales are down. They need controversy to stir up the box office numbers. What better gimmick than to give the biggie award to the Dark horse?

Or maybe it was just that Hollywood was afraid for the first time at the Oscars. Rumor has it that middle-class America is starting to feel alienated. Rumor has it they were all counting this the "gay year" of film. Because remember, the Best Actor can win (but as an effeminate, wrist-swishing stereotype). And Best Adapted Screenplay can win, when it was a great American short story first.

Well, the Academy proved those rumors wrong tonight. Maybe it's not important that the whole room gasped when Jack Nicholson read the envelope. Maybe it doesn't matter that everyone in the room thought it was all a joke, that this couldn't be happening, that this wasn't so much the victory we were hoping for, that maybe the Academy had actually taken a step backward tonight of all nights. The important thing is that the stereotypes are alive and kicking. That your neighbor is just your neighbor. S/He doesn't live a closeted life. S/He hasn't married someone s/he never loved to hide from outside judgment. S/He is living the story that everyone has ever told, not the interesting one, not the new one, not even the best one. But, it's the story that everyone wanted to hear.

So thank you, Jon Stewart, for your ironic treatise tonight. How dare we expect change. How dare we.


Special Note: Have to credit most of the attendees of Damion's Oscar bash for half the ideas in this post.