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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Forbes Fictional 15

On the eve of Thanksgiving, I felt the need to post a whimsical article at Forbes magazine chronicling the fictional characters with the highest net worth. You can browse the list here.

The list is good for a laugh, especially if you take the time to read the blurbs about each character. I recommend #12 and #15 for maximum pleasure. Did you know that Mr. Monopoly went to UPenn?

Though the list is funny, Forbes gets negative a million points for only including one female on the list (and her caption is lame). So, if anyone wants to amend this list by adding some rich women in fictional universes, be my guest!

1. Warbucks, Oliver "Daddy": $36.2 billion
2. Burns, Charles Montgomery: $16.8 billion
3. McDuck, Scrooge: $10.9 billion
4. Rich, Richie: $10.7 billion
5. Clampett, Jed: $7.7 billion
6. Monopoly, Mr.: $7.1 billion
7. Wayne, Bruce: $6.8 billion
8. Stark, Anthony: $3.0 billion
9. Prince Abakaliki of Nigeria: $2.8 billion
10. Howell, Thurston III $2.7 billion
11. Wonka, Willy: $2.0 billion
12. Malfoy, Lucius: $1.3 billion
13. Montana, Tony: $1 billion
14. Croft, Lara: $1 billion
15. Mario: $1 billion

Looks like I have about 19 days to go. Also, I added trailer captures for the previous post on HP 5.

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Saturday, November 18, 2006

This is me being a completely lame fangirl.

But here is a bootleg of the first HP5 teader trailer (that was first shown in front of Happy Feet this Friday). It's been officilly released on the web. But right now, enjoy this unofficial teaser bootleg.



And here's the official teaser poster. It's so ugly. Boo.



**EDITS**
Pics from the Teaser Trailer (with appropriate captions!) to follow.

Harry evesdropping on some vital Dimbledore comment at his trial!Occlumency Lessons with Snape.The kiss! Followed by awkward teenage angst!Umbridge!Bellatrix LeStrange!Flying through London with Harry, Ron, Hermione, Luna, Ginny, Neville, et al.Harry, Ron and Hermione: the Power of Three. I'm sorry. I can't sit through more than 2 episodes of Charmed either.

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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Christopher Nolan is M. Night's Doppelganger

Laura_cd and I went to see the filmic narrative brilliance that is The Prestige last night at 10:30 PM. I didn't go to bed until 3 in the AM--because I was either 1)busy thinking through the story fragmentation, 2)obsessively analyzing Hugh Jackman's acting prowess or 3)being annoyed I had to go in to teach a Draft Workshop in less than 5 hours. I'd like to think I stayed up because of the first two reasons. (Also, I was making a new Bones background for my computer, but that's straying off topic.)

ANYWAY!

Laura was very right last night when she said that Christopher Nolan (the director/screenwriter who also brought us Memento and Batman Begins) is a narrative genius. I remember talking with a writing mentor back in undergrad about the flawless structure of Memento: it follows a traditional narrative structure (initiating incident, rise, climax, denouement) but is told backwards. Give me a break. Who pulls that off nearly flawlessly? Laura and I are convinced that he must have been working in several different storytelling mediums previous to his breaking that independent hit in 2000. (He also had 2 previous movies that I haven't seen, so I can't speak for them myself.)

ANYWAY!

Watching The Prestige was like watching an instructional workshop. Form mirrored content, and content mirrored form almost seamlessly. I won't say anything to "ruin" it for everyone out there who hasn't contributed to its box office sales, but the film opens with an intro to the structure of a magician's illusion: the pledge, the turn and the prestige (Title alert!):


Every great magic trick consists of three acts. The first act is called "The Pledge"; The magician shows you something ordinary, but of course it probably isn't. The second act is called "The Turn"; The magician makes his ordinary some thing do something extraordinary. Now if you're looking for the secret you won't find it, that's why there's a third act called, "The Prestige"; this is the part with the twists and turns, where lives hang in the balance, and you see something shocking you've never seen before.


And that's what the movie is: a narrative illusion that is both illusive and an allusion to the trick's 3-part structure. (Damn you, turn of phrase!) Oh, and I just want to point out the relationship between reference to "the prestige" and the sleight-of-hand term "prestidigitation".
ANYWAY!

There was no mystery that was too much of a mystery. There was no turn that was a complete surprise. All of the development in The Prestige was there to tie the fragmented pieces of the narrative together. Because as any good storyteller knows, great suspense doesn't come from withholding information from your audience and dumping a tricky reveal on them at the end of things. It comes from laying the "secret" bare and letting the audience draw their own conclusions. (I just mini-lectured my writing workshop on this fact today, actually.) Therefore, the narrative tension comes from the difference between what the audience "has eyes to see" and what the story's characters may or may not know. (I can't believe I just used "therefore" in a blog post.)

AND SO!

The complete opposite of Chris Nolan's great narrative experimentation and fragmentation for the purpose of tension is M. Night Shyamalan's butchering of the "twist" tradition in storytelling. (Damn you, O. Henry!) Sure, M. Night hit it big with The Sixth Sense. Unbreakable was much more character-driven and ultimately (IMO) more re-watchable. (Re-watching The Sixth Sense for me is like some strange and brutal torture.) But then there was Signs (which was great in its own right ,but so obvious at times as to poke its watchers in their size-of-flying-saucers eyes). And (drum roll please) the roughly-drafted flick that is The Village. At this point in his career, I believe M. Night did a fabulous job of getting caught up in the cult of himself--to the point where he was trying to imitate the form that viewers threw money away for in The Sixth Sense: "I have important social things to say! Aren't these village elders creepy and completely unrealistic? I love it when my characters are so pretentious as to be morons, just like me! Oh, and did you catch me in the cabinet reflection with my perfect I-know-something-you-don't-know line delivery?" In other words, M. Night was caught up in imitating himself. (This is a topic that actually comes up quite deliberately in The Prestige (as can be seen in this poster image). All "best-selling" and/or popular artists and storytellers are prone to the circular problem of trying to live up to the image of yourself that has been created for the public audience. And, as Angier notes in The Prestige, the audience is the reason that you create the spectacle.)

GAR!

I didn't make it to Lady In the Water, but I think there is something to be said about not giving some people complete creative control. I mean, there is a time and place--not to mention need--for creative collaboration for some people. (Chris Nolan works closely with his brother Jonathan.) I suppose that aruagably what separates Nolan from M. Night is that in the end, M. Night is writing about himself. That is what he's concerned with: his own form, his own story, his own success. Whereas, when Nolan is allowed to enter into the role of auteur (Batman Begins can be considered an exception here), his work ends up being about the art, the story, the character. It is about creating that illusion of a narrative that is fragmented yet in some strange way unified in the end of things, but in order to get there Nolan has to make his way through his own pledge, turn and prestige.

(Author's Note: I am primarily crediting Chris Nolan for the film's narrative order, but his brother Jonathan was co-writer on the screenplay for The Prestige. Also, the film was adapted from the novel by Christopher Priest, which I haven't read. I'm not sure if the narrative in the novel is fragmented in the same way the film's is.)

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The Movie Meme.

Laura_cd also tagged me for the movie meme at the beginning of the week. I figured I would oblige while I was critiquing the latest film we saw together:

1. Popcorn or candy?
Popcorn.

2. Name a movie you've been meaning to see forever.
I'm going to be completely honest here: Elektra, American History X, and My Own Private Idaho

3. You are given the power to recall one Oscar: Who loses theirs and to whom?
This is a great question for movie buffs to answer. I want Will Smith to get it for Ali in 2001. Screw you, Denzel, Training Day, and your 2 Oscars! Let another black man win! (And this answer wouldn't be complete without mentioning my complete spiral into despair that Brokeback (2005) didn't take home the big one.)

4. Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe. Which will it be?
Honestly? One of those cool robes/windbreakers that Harry uses for the first (Dragon) task in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

5. Your favorite film franchise is...
Back to the Future. Hands down.

6. Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why'd you invite them? What do you feed them?
I will feed them from magical plates that materialize everyone's favorite meals in front of them without me having to cook. (I don't have time for that stuff now.)

(1) Christopher Nolan ~ See above post for reasons why, but here's a hint: genius at wielding narrative.

(2) Richard Linklater ~ Has directed Dazed and Confused, Waking Life, BeforeSunrise/Sunset, School of Rock and A Scanner Darkly to name a few. He might be secretly in love with Ethan Hawke. Linklater is considered the man who started the independent film movement with his '91 filmSlacker (which might as well be called: "Screw you, Traditional Film Narrative, it's time you come on over to Austin, TX") I am in constant turmoil with Linklater. Sometimes he hits for me. Sometimes he completely misses, but it's always interesting to watch.

(3) Jill Sprecher ~ Has directed and co-written 13 Conversations About One Thing. I am fascinated by the feminine semiotics of this film.

(4) Agnes Varda ~ The female director of the French New Wave and arguably the best female director in the history of filmmaking.

(5) Gus Van Sant ~ But this presupposes that I've been able to watch My Own Private Idaho. Elephant was my directing inspiration for the one short film I've made, but why oh why Mr. Van Sant did you push the form (and your audience) too far and make Gerry?

7. What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater?
They have to watch those lame "fake movie trailer" turn-off-your-cell-phones promos on a continuous loop for all eternity.

8. Choose a female bodyguard: Ripley from Aliens. Mystique from X-Men. Sarah Connor from Terminator 2. The Bride from Kill Bill. Mace from Strange Days.
I don't think there's any contest. If you are interested in someone who will protect you most successfully, you're going to pick The Bride. But if she wasn't on the list, it would have to be Mystique before she got the "cure" in X-3 (aka the X-men film I refuse to believe exists), though I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. Ok, so I haven't seen Aliens or Terminator. I know! I'm lacking in my Americana!

9. What's the scariest thing you've ever seen in a movie?
Um, anyone who has spoken with me within the last year knows that the answer to this one is anything Lynch-ian.

10. Your favorite genre (excluding comedy and drama) is?
Um, does Independent count as a genre? What about Animation? Ok fine, I'll go with Teen movies.

11. You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power?
By funding first-time writer/directors whom I deem worthy.

12. Bonnie or Clyde?
N/A, because I have not seen this film.

13. Who are you tagging to answer this survey?
sbp and Vacula

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Saturday, November 11, 2006

Skin Like Toilet-Seat Porcelain


Blogger was being "difficult" this morning and trashed my already-written post on Young Adult Fantasy Literature, so I'll tide everyone (meaning me) over by having some fun with a strange appreciation for the way Daniel Radcliffe takes pictures (or rather has pictures taken of himself). But first! Release Dates of the next 2 movies!

Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix: July 13, 2007; Directed by David Yates

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: November 21, 2008; To be directed by Michael Hoffman (a woman, please! grrr.)

I also feel the need to tell anyone who doesn't know that he's portraying Alan Strang in a Spring 2007 West-End production of Equus, which for those of you who aren't familiar means that he will be appearing in his birthday suit on-stage. Not bad for a Potter kid who was discovered for that role (which wasn't his first on-screen) while he and his parents were attending a theatre production when he was 11.

I must admit to getting this "old soul" vibe to all the photos. Yes, he's faux-jamming on a guitar, but he's staring at the camera with an "I know something you don't" look. Also, I wonder how "Elijah Wood" he is--not that I'm admitting to thinking Elijah Wood has an "old soul" by any means.

Methinks Tyra might crown him America's Next Top-British-Born Male Model under 18. I can just think of the critique she'd give of each picture: natural, honest, etc. . . Okay, so I'm not so eloquent when it comes to analyzing the way someone takes a good picture, but I can say that this kid makes doing just about anything look good: rehearsed, yet casual (a phrase much akin to "funny, yet serious"). And man am I ever glad he got to work with Alfonso Cuaron. Thank goodness for turning points in acting careers.

This is best illustrated in the following series of pictures (from unforgivablecurse.net). You can see that Daniel is "casually" acting out the atmostphere surrounding the "task" of spraypainting the wall, but he's also completely posed. A good comparison can be made by looking at Rupert Grint and Emma Watson on the right side of the pictures. Watson might be the most "unnatural" (which makes sense considering she's the Potter kid least interested in sticking around in the acting world after she signs on for the last film--which is still up in the air). Grint is a bit one-note, but I really do think that's the only face he can make.

What can I say, Radcliffe knows how to work a camera. . .

PS Daniel on Rick Gervais's Extras.

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Thursday, November 09, 2006

There is a God.

No, I'm not quoting Max Guevera from the second all-time Dark Angel episode "Heat". I'm mainly coming on to say that today (the day of avoiding paper grading, then trying my hand at it again, then avoiding it some more, then ordering Chinese food to last me til Monday, then letting Full House be my background noise, then trying my hand at working again, then writing this blog) I tried to avoid paper grading for my "lunch hour" spent with no one by popping in my netflix disk of Smallville season 3. (I think the show might be getting good, soon.) However, there was a long angular crack down the disk, meaning my DVD player couldn't read it, meaning that my penchant for watching things in order negated my popping in the next disk. In other words, I was trying to waste more time, and I was thwarted.

Coincidence?

I think not.

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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Theology and Future Sex/Love Sounds

I know, I know. 3 J-Timberlake-themed posts in about 2 weeks--it's too much for the average person to handle. Too bad. This one is short.

A piece of theology from Jizzy's new release:

There's gotta be a heaven somewhere / To save me from this hell

From the song fittingly titled "Losing My Way". Terribly maudlin. I know. But the reasoning seems sound to me. (Granted, the Freshamn Writing Program might disagree.)

Bones tonight will make my life so nice. Booth and Bones are going undercover in VEGAS. Yes. Vegas episodes (undercover episodes, too) are always the best. And this is my one reprieve I'm allowing myself from paper grading.

And again, because I care and it makes me happy to remember that we're almost down to a month, folks. . .


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Saturday, November 04, 2006

Prequels (or the Evolution of Justin Timberlake)


Which is the new playlist that I added to Windows Media Player this morning, consisting of "Justified", "Future Sex/Love Sounds" and *NSYNC's "Celebrity" (in which we get to see Jizzy and JC do their song-writing thing). Just further proof why Jizzy hit it and JC didn't. (Justin's credits include "Pop", "Celebrity", "Girlfriend" and "Gone" among others, while JC got to put pen to staff paper on "The Two of Us" and "The Game Is Over". They collaborated for "Up Against the Wall".) Someday I will write the post comparing JC and Jizzy's "successes" and just why Jizzy blew him out of the water.

After a convo with Heather last night on the way home from watching the second quarter of the first season of Dark Angel (aka Part Of My Soul), I decided I needed to rewatch the NSYNC "Dirty Pop" music vid. I remember about 2 years ago I loved this video, now I think I'm seeing it more for what it is with all of the absurd video and editing acrobatics. I guess this is proof that Boy Bands are officially "out" bc I do like their last CD. Of course I'll post the video here, mostly for Heather who oft-quotes the "Ice around my neck" line.

Here are some things to keep in mind while watching:
1. There is a large possibility that the crazy camerawork is used to distract from the fact that some of the "band" members can't in fact dance as well as others.
2. Speaking of dancing, Joey Fatone broke his knee for this shoot. What does that mean? While JC and Justin are walking through the club, Joey is sitting with a group of fans trying real hard to raise the roof from the comfort of his ass. Also, their choreographer took Joey's place in the dance sets. (Not that you can tell from the crappy web-resolution.)
3. I know. Justin needs a solo career. Bc 5 men dancing in unison has somehow lost its allure. It just gets worse when they collectively hump the ground.
4. Contrary to popular assumption, I was not 10 when "Celebrity" came out and still enjoy parts of the hit-frought CD.



If anyone catches the "Gone" music vid (or wants to admit to remembering it), the frame around the song is just about the most subversive thing I've ever seen. Justin (and the guys) doing a Chaplin-esque parody and moving into the black-and-white-yearning-for-the-lost-g-friend (or in Lance's case b-friend) portion of the vid. I did laugh through the first verse of the song uncontrollably bc of the framing. Yay for undermining your own serious ballads with vaudeville!


Speaking of subversive, Here's the lyrics for the Hugh Laurie "Protest Song" he performed on this weekend's SNL. It has a similar effect to the "Gone" vid in that you watch it and it's funny, then you slowly get this horrible feeling of pending doom as you find yourself taking it seriously. So, by the end you're stuck in the bittersweet place that many of us have come to know as LIFE. To quote from one of Laura's "profs". . . Funny, yet Serious.

This is a protest song. [ blows on a harmonica attached to his neck ]

[ singing ]

"Well, the poor keep getting hungry, and the rich keep getting fat
Politicians change, but they're never gonna change that.
Girl, we got the answer, it's so easy you won't believe
All we gotta do is.. [ mumbles incoherently ]

Well, the winds of war are blowin', and the tide is comin' in
Don't you be hopin' for the good times, because the good times have already been.
But, girl, we got the answer, it's so easy you won't believe
All we gotta do is.. [ mumbles incoherently ]

It's so easy, to see
If only they'd listen, to you and me.
We got to.. [ mumbles incoherently ] as fast as we can
We got to.. [ mumbles incoherently ] every woman, every man
We got to.. [ mumbles incoherently ] time after time
We got to.. [ mumbles incoherently ] vodka and lime.

Well, the world is gettin' weary, and it wants to go to bed
Everybody's dyin', except the ones who are already dead.
Girl, we got the answer, starin' us right in the face
All we gotta do is
All we gotta do is
All we gotta do is."

[ pauses, then blows on the harmonica and finishes ]

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