The Forbes Fictional 15

On the eve of Thanksgiving, I felt the need to post a whimsical article at Forbes magazine chronicling the fictional characters with the highest net worth. You can browse the list here.

The list is good for a laugh, especially if you take the time to read the blurbs about each character. I recommend #12 and #15 for maximum pleasure. Did you know that Mr. Monopoly went to UPenn?

Though the list is funny, Forbes gets negative a million points for only including one female on the list (and her caption is lame). So, if anyone wants to amend this list by adding some rich women in fictional universes, be my guest!

1. Warbucks, Oliver "Daddy": $36.2 billion
2. Burns, Charles Montgomery: $16.8 billion
3. McDuck, Scrooge: $10.9 billion
4. Rich, Richie: $10.7 billion
5. Clampett, Jed: $7.7 billion
6. Monopoly, Mr.: $7.1 billion
7. Wayne, Bruce: $6.8 billion
8. Stark, Anthony: $3.0 billion
9. Prince Abakaliki of Nigeria: $2.8 billion
10. Howell, Thurston III $2.7 billion
11. Wonka, Willy: $2.0 billion
12. Malfoy, Lucius: $1.3 billion
13. Montana, Tony: $1 billion
14. Croft, Lara: $1 billion
15. Mario: $1 billion

Looks like I have about 19 days to go. Also, I added trailer captures for the previous post on HP 5.

Theology and Future Sex/Love Sounds

I know, I know. 3 J-Timberlake-themed posts in about 2 weeks--it's too much for the average person to handle. Too bad. This one is short.

A piece of theology from Jizzy's new release:

There's gotta be a heaven somewhere / To save me from this hell

From the song fittingly titled "Losing My Way". Terribly maudlin. I know. But the reasoning seems sound to me. (Granted, the Freshamn Writing Program might disagree.)

Bones tonight will make my life so nice. Booth and Bones are going undercover in VEGAS. Yes. Vegas episodes (undercover episodes, too) are always the best. And this is my one reprieve I'm allowing myself from paper grading.

And again, because I care and it makes me happy to remember that we're almost down to a month, folks. . .

The Theme of My Life. . .

Is countdowns. Yes, I know you already guessed it. Also spending money comes in a close second.

Countdown until Bones re-premieres after the World Series is over (Congrats Cardinals): 31 hours. To tide ourselves over, there are always Bones pumpkin carving patterns! Courtesy of the_odd_one.

And for those of you who have alerts on for when I publish my blog, my apologies. I've been republishing my previous post on Timberlake neurotically for the past 2 hours (no, I don't have time to be doing that, but I don't seem to care right now). But take a look at the EDIT I made, marked by **EDIT**, you will get a chance to watch 2 grrrreat vids featuring Jizzy himself.

Bones Promo that should be watched with a smile on your face, courtesy of Boreanaz.net--probably the best place to find D. Bor. vids:

Follow the Colons to Freedom

The state of things one week before this Fall ’06 semester began: I was excited, jubilant even. I had spent the whole summer working (Where did those planned trips to the pool go? Those impromptu bar-b-cues? My avid reading list?) and applying to every grad assistantship that made my heart pitter-pat even a smidge faster than usual. Rejection after rejection, then came the e-mail—my bastion of hope. This is what I’d been waiting for: the chance to teach 2 sections of Writing 101.

An observation from Spring ’06 semester: I saw all of those 101 teachers complaining, nursing their wounded egos over pints of lager. I didn’t listen. Part of me was jealous.

The state of things one week after this Fall ’06 semester began: I began my weekly cycle of anxiety, accomplishment, failure, spiraling uncontrollably into despair, anxiety again, with a healthy dose of crying over the phone to my mother on Thursdays. The last time I remember crying before this was during the first scene of the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (which I say the night after going to see Rent), about 9 months before.

The state of things Mid-October of Fall ’06 semester: Yay! Emily is here! We’re watching the end of Buffy and Angel! I can escape into the Whedonverse! Oh wait, the Whedonverse does this pesky thing where it makes you confront your own shortcomings by presented characters in a fictional setting with problems that are almost too real, too like yours. Emily helps me tally grades for group presentations! Callou-Callay! The pending wait of the coming next half of the semester weighs on me in the mornings until I can stuff it back in the box in brain where it came from. I am inattentive and distracted when trying to play well with others.

The state of things as of tomorrow night: How do I teach these things? Wait! WTF is a stasiss grrid? I have 50 papers to grade after Monday. . . noooooo.

What I did to prevent the return of this detrimental cycle in Spring ’07 semester: I made contact with the Creative Writing “people” and let them know: I am willing to teach creative writing or fiction workshop (which I threw in second, because I knew it was a hope-beyond-hope whim) in the spring. I’ve taught 2 sections of 101. I am experienced. (please help)

I made sure that they knew: that I was aware that things might not work out. I was told a little before mid-October that things may just workout to teach creative writing. (The fiction workshop would be taught by full-time faculty.)

The state of things last Tuesday: My friend Ken had his teaching assignment in-hand. (It had already been slated in stone that he would teach the fiction workshop since the beginning of time.) I was told, “You have the 0101 section.” Ken was so proud! I’d gotten the other fiction workshop! I looked at him pensively. “No,” I said, “it’s the Creative Writing one.”

The state of things at the end of this week: I found my classes for the fall, and my name under the fiction workshop list of teachers. But I haven’t signed a contract, so there is still time to continue the cycle.

The state of things now: hoping and hoping and hoping and hoping.

And for those of you still keeping track: The Countdown

No official countdown for these guys. Why are they so happy? Bones comes back this Wednesday! Bom-digi-bom da-dang-da-dang digi-digi!

Countdown until Hugh Laurie hosts SNL: about 8 minutes.

The Countdown

I had to make one, because I care.

Thanks to Bleach Eating Freaks for the means. . .

http://www.bleacheatingfreaks.com/makeacountdown/?id=227590